Musicians are Mental - or at least we should be

Let me start by saying, I don't really like self-help books. I have a bunch and people always tell me to read dozens of different ones, and I always read like 10 pages and set it aside. They seem too preachy, or just make me feel like I could be doing more than I am, but I don't and that makes me feel even worse. Until I realized THAT was the problem! I, like practically every musician and performer I know, beat myself up pretty much on a daily basis. Shockingly enough, this is not helpful. Especially when one is trying to perform. But I knew I absolutely did not want to read or attempt to read another book about smart musicians who get it together.

Then someone very dear to me, who has been a classical musician a lot longer than I have, recommended the book Golf Is Not a Game of Perfect by Dr. Bob Rotella, one of the most successful sports psychologists ever, who specializes in working with golfers. Yes I know, golfers are definitely not musicians - whether they are even artists, as the book sometimes suggests, is highly debatable. But think about it: golfers are obsessed with their technique, just like we are. They are forced to compete directly against other individuals, just as we are in auditions. During tournaments golfers are performing in high pressure situations in front of an audience, and while the elements may thwart them (windy day on a course=singing in a dead hall) at the end of the day they have no teammates or referees to blame if they screw up.

The point Dr. Rotella makes is that practicing technique will only get you so far -we all sound great in the practice room. The difference, he says, between those who succeed when it's time to perform and those who choke is the mental side of things - how well we have disciplined our minds not to screw us over with negative  or distracting thoughts. How important it is to be comfortable performing with the technique you have, and to remember that you cannot give yourself a lesson during a performance.

This last thought is one of the things that struck me the most. How many times have I been auditioning or performing and listening so intently to myself, trying to immediately correct my technique in the middle of singing? It's ridiculous to think about, but I do it all the time, and I know many musicians who do. He reminds us that "golf is not a game of perfect" - no one plays it perfectly, but by preparing yourself mentally to perform  up to your greatest potential, you are much likely to get closer to perfect. We think that the only kind of self-discipline is being hard on yourself, but it takes much greater will-power and a lot more work to be kind to yourself. This is the work that we most neglect, but is so essential to performing our best.

So this is my attempt to be a good colleague this week: if you're tough on yourself and spend a lot of time beating yourself up, check out the book. You won't be able to say "well, I'm not like that singer he worked with, so this won't work for me" because they aren't singers! You will however be shocked at the parallels. You do need a rudimentary knowledge of golf terminology, but a Wikipedia article will tell you all you need to know. Have fun making yourself mental - in a good way.